Not What I Expected
by Irken Invader
Summary: post season two, pre season three. Sam and Dean snatch up a demon to exorcise, as per usual. But this time they managed to catch GO's Crowley.Crowley/Aziraphale if you squint, minor swearing, one shot.


I own neither Supernatural, or Good Omens, as much AS I may like to...*sigh*

The demon glared at them from inside the devil's trap. He didn't even try to hide his yellow eyes, aside from the pair of sunglasses he had been wearing before Dean had ripped them from his face. The pupils were slitted vertically, giving off a definitively reptilian impression, rather than the catlike one Sam had assumed it would have. Eyes like these the hunters had never encountered before, but it made little difference in the end.

"So where was this piece of shit hiding, anyway? I thought we'd finally seen the last of yellow eyed demons" the older brother growled. "Well, you're not going to believe this, but he was sitting outside a diner, watching people try to pick up a silver dollar he'd glued to the sidewalk." "You're kidding me." The taller hunter threw his hands up into the air. "I swear to God, that's what he was doing!" "Why the hell would he be doing that?" A dark sibilant voice replied "Becaussse it'sss funny."

Both brothers turned to stare at the demon, who only smirked back at them. It didn't seem to be at all inconvenienced by the circle it found itself trapped in, but hadn't starting hissing until it woke up and realized what happened, so that was something at least.

Dean dragged a chair over in front of the devil's trap, but still outside of it, and sat backwards, resting his arms across the back. "I'll concede that it is funny messing with idiots, but I have to say I was expecting something more…you know…" The hunter made a random hand gesture as if it could explain what he meant. "…evil. Like maybe killing all the people in the diner. Not that I would have preferred that, of course…" he added hurriedly when his brother glared at him. The demon raised a perfectly shaped black eyebrow.

"Why would I do that? Hurry them all onto the final reward?" It laughed. "Contrary to popular belief, my job isss only to tempt. Help you help yourssselvesss make the world a little worssse of a place every day. I rarely have to lift a finger." It grinned then, showing a mouth of slightly too pointed teeth. "Mind you, that doesssn't mean I'm not proud of my many contributionsss to the sssuffering of humanity. Reality televisssion, anyone? And the M25 London orbital motorway, not that I sssuppose you would know anything about that."

Though he hadn't said anything, Dean had kind of been wondering about the British accent.

"So tell me, how exactly did your little coin trick further your cause?" As hard as he was trying to hang onto the rage that had surged through him at the first glimpse of those yellow eyes, he couldn't keep the curiosity out of his voice. The demon shrugged as well as he could tied to a chair. "Greed. Wrath." "I see," Sam said thoughtfully. "Whoever falls for your trick succumbs to greed, because they are knowingly trying to take money that doesn't belong to them. And wrath, because when they find out it's glued to the ground, they'll be annoyed and humiliated, and probably take out their bad mood on the people around them."

The demon grinned, and tried to throw his arms outward in exclamation. "Finally! Sssomeone underssstandsss the geniusss behind my methodsss!" "Well, no." Sam said with a grin of his own, crossing his arms. "It's still kind of a lame tactic."

It hit the brothers at roughly the same time that the situation was rapidly getting out of hand if they could joke with a demon. A frickin' yellow eyed demon, at that.

"Well!" Dean pronounced, clapping his hands together. "Time to get this show on the road. Interrogation, and all that." The demon sighed. "Yesss, yesss. You humansss and your interrogationsss. Alwaysss ssso much more creative than Hell. Essspecially sssince you learned to ussse electricity." He-('No, an It, not a He. Keep that in mind' the hunters thought to themselves) tilted its head back to stare at the ceiling. "But even before then. I got a commendation for the Ssspanisssh inquisssition, you know. I wasss there at the time, of courssse, it'sss true, mainly hanging around cantinasss in the nicer partsss, but I hadn't even known about it until the commendation arrived. I'd gone to have a look…" The demon trailed off, and sighed. It tilted its head back down, and looked at the two brothers with exasperated eyes.

The subject material had returned them to the fact that they were chatting with a very dangerous entity. More dangerous than they originally thought. They didn't believe him for a second that he hadn't had a hand in the Inquisition, if he admitted to being there.

"Are you sssure we can't just talk this out over a few drinksss? No? Well, let'sss get it over with then."

The man scowled. "Get the book, Dean. Let's exorcise this bastard." "Won't work." The demon smiled. "I'm not possssssessssssing anyone. Thisss body isss my own." The demon gained a startled look in response, but was otherwise ignored. He was right, though. Throughout the entire exorcism, the demon just sat there grinning and whistling Queen songs.

When Sam eventually gave up and threw the book down in disgust, the snake like demon cheerfully called out "So I'll just be on my way then, yes?" "No." Dean replied. He held up a clear glass bottle with a rosary floating inside. "We have some questions."

The demon instantly paled, real fear erupting in his inhuman eyes as he began to struggle wildly against his bonds. "No no no no no no no no no" he mumbled to himself. Dean raised an eyebrow. "Jeez, wimp much? It won't kill you." The demon didn't reply, but the look on his face told the hunter everything he didn't say aloud.

"Holy crap, you mean this stuff really will kill you? All wicked witch of the west?" The man grinned. "Well, let's do this then! This is something I got to see."

He uncorked the bottle and flung its contents at the cowering demon.

It never hit. Or more specifically, it never hit the demon. It instead splashed in the face of a plump blonde man who had not been standing there even a fraction of a second ago. He did not look happy.

The new arrival made no move to wipe the water from his face, but instead just let it drip slowly down. No steam. No screams. Not a demon.

Without ever breaking eye contact, he very deliberately reached a foot back and dragged it through the devil's trap. With the lines broken, the yellow eyed demon became a yellow eyed snake that slipped easily through the coils of rope that, in human form, had bound him. He shot through the gap in the circle, and quickly wrapped his way up the man's leg, then his torso, until he came to rest across his rescuer's shoulders.

"It'sss not funny." He hissed dejectedly. "Not a word." "I agree." The blonde remarked. "It isn't at all funny what they tried to do to you. But it is rather amusing that you were caught." The corner of his mouth twitched up in a smile. "Not a word, I sssaid!" The snake squawked, its head rearing up in embarrassment.

The blonde man took off the glasses that perched precariously at the end of his nose, and without preamble, lights or noise, they vanished in his fingertips. Clear blue eyes illuminating something bigger than a soul in their depths gazed at the Winchester brothers. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't melt my business partner. It's not something he can recorporate from. That makes it murder. Thou shalt not murder, and love thy neighbor and all that. I thought you were good boys. Don't prove me wrong."

And then they were gone.

The Winchesters were left alone with an empty devil's trap, and no idea what had just happened.


End file.
